Wednesday, June 9, 2010

All We Can Do Is Try

I was on Blotanical this morning and I saw it again.  A post titled "I Hate All of Us" from The Deep Middle.  I've seen this post sitting at the top of the Picks pile for a week now and I have resisted reading it.  I knew what I was going to see without reading more than just the title.  I've been avoiding certain tv channels and news programs for weeks now.  I know how it will make me feel.   The sinking feeling, sickness, shaking, tears, loss.  There are a lot of ways to describe my reaction but none of them feels like enough.  But this morning I decided I would read it.  I was compelled, knowing that at some point I would have to face this reality.  It's as horrific as I imagined.  And my stomach was burning, my eyes welling up within seconds.  It is difficult even, to write this post. 

I can feel this person's anger and I am angry myself.  I also feel I could fall into a well of anxiety and depression when I see what hell we have brought to this earth.  But I won't.  Instead I will dig up my lawn piece by piece and replace it with trees and shrubs so that birds will have shelter.  I will let the weeds grow so that bumblebees will have food.  I will let that fallen dead tree lay where it is so that skunks may burrow underneath it.  I will mow the lawn less and install a rain barrel.  I will grow my own food.  I am not perfect and there is much I could change in my life.  I have contibuted to this disaster as much as anyone else.  I think that's what really hurts.  But I am willing to acknowledge my part in this.  I still don't want to look at those photos of animals covered in oil but I won't forget them either.

5 comments:

  1. Well, I'm glad yo stopped by to read my post (and it amazes me it's been sitting atop the Blotanical posts for so long!). You are doing the right thing, we all are--and we are also not doing the right thing. I think that's our human condition--mediary between good and evil, life and death, love and hate. That's what makes us unique and so promising. But without staring evil in the face, good will surely never have a chance.

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  2. All we can do is try. I do hope that this tragic moment in our history changes something for the better. That we people come out of this with a better understanding of our nature and the need to protect it, create it and nourish it. We can only try.

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  3. Hi Benjamin, your post obviously struck a chord with people. Something needed to be said and you took the initiative. Thank you for that.

    @Laura - my greatest worry is that we forget, move on, and keep repeating. remember Exxon? I believe the best thing I can do is work on changing me and my habits.

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  4. Sometimes the world is so ugly, it's hard to fathom. And when I say the world, I mean people. There's so much beauty that's being marred in the name of progress. I'm not the most perfect person in terms of environmentalism. I suppose I don't work hard enough to be hardcore. But I try to do my part. Seeing the effects of that oil spill is just disgusting.

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  5. I just discovered your wonderful blog. I was devastated by the spill but had to deal with the pictures so I could help my students understand what was happening. But by the time I got home, I was a wreck so I blogged about gardening as a way to soothe my spirit. (Why My Garden Matters, Why My Garden Matters Part 2). My actions are small but every little bit helps.

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